ADHD & Impostor Syndrome: Why You Never Feel Good Enough
Someday, they’ll find out.
You’re not who you say you are – you’re a fraud.
Sure, you’ve got a degree and several certifications.
But you have ADHD, and you’ve had to work twice as hard as everyone else to get where you are.
Sooner or later, your symptoms will get the better of you, and you’ll be exposed as incompetent and defective.
If you relate to any of these feelings, you know what it’s like to have imposter syndrome as an adult with ADHD.
You don’t have to have ADHD to experience imposter syndrome, but ADHDers are uniquely vulnerable to it because of how our symptoms impact our self-perception.
If you have ADHD and never feel good enough, despite hard work and real achievements, read on.
We’ll discuss why imposter syndrome is so common among ADHDers and offer a few steps you can take to reduce its impact on your life.
What is Impostor Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling that you haven’t earned what you’ve achieved, and that sooner or later, you’ll be exposed as a fraud.
People who experience imposter syndrome still feel incompetent, even though they know they’ve worked hard and achieved success.
They minimize achievements and over-magnify mistakes, while praise and complements seem to go in one ear and out the other.
Impostor syndrome is also referred to as impostor phenomenon or imposter experience because it isn’t actually a medical diagnosis.
Studies show up to 82% of people experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives.
How does Impostor Syndrome Relate to ADHD?
Most ADHDers have to work twice as hard to accomplish the same goals as our neurotypical peers.
Due to executive dysfunction, we struggle with forgetfulness, time-management and completing multi-step tasks. We get distracted easily and have trouble focusing on tasks that aren’t interesting to us.
Despite these struggles, many adults with ADHD end up achieving great things – either because we’ve found the right treatment, or we’ve learned to structure our lives in ways that work for our ADHD brains.
But we’re shaped by our childhood experiences, and if you had coaches, teachers, parents and other people constantly harping on you about your short-comings, those voices probably still echo in your head.
When you’re told from an early age that your experience of the world is wrong, it’s difficult to trust in your abilities.
No matter how much success you achieve, you get the feeling your ADHD symptoms will sabotage you in the end.
You’d think if you created a Top 5 podcast on the topic of ADHD, you’d stop doubting yourself.
But no, imposter syndrome still visits me on the regular, to remind me I’m not good enough.
It whispers in my ear:
“You need more degrees, certifications and qualifications to speak on ADHD!”
“You haven’t written a book, or published an article on any mainstream ADHD publications – you’re a nobody!”
“Look at all these 6-figure coaches out here killing it – how much did you make last year again?”
Thankfully, these days I can pull myself out of the shame spiral a lot faster than in the past through a lot of therapy and inner work.
I’m sharing today what works for me on the hard days when I think I should throw in the towel.
You aren’t the only one who doubts themselves on the regular!
-Patricia Sung, ADHD Coach & Podcast Host at Motherhood in ADHD
What are the Signs of ADHD-Related Impostor Syndrome?
You might experience impostor phenomenon if you relate to any or all of these common signs.
You Minimize Your Successes (& Exaggerate Your Mistakes)
Do you remember the last task you did really well at?
That thing you did that had everyone in the office patting you on the back?
Probably not.
But what about that mistake you made 15 years ago? The one you’re still beating yourself up over at 2 am when you can’t sleep?
Clear as a bell?
Thought so.
When you struggle with ADHD-related impostor syndrome, you tend to forget about your high moments and dwell on your mistakes.
When someone compliments you, or gives you props for a job well done, you tend to brush it off quickly, chalk it up to luck, or see it as a rare moment of excellence (among your frequent failures).
And when you do spend a few moments relishing in your success, it isn’t long until you’re scanning your life again for the next risk of failure.
You Attribute Your Success to Luck (When You’ve Actually Worked Hard)
You got that job because the other candidates must have been terrible.
You won the award due to sheer luck.
But oh – those mistakes and failures? Those are definitely your fault.
With impostor syndrome, you don’t just minimize your success, you might think you didn’t earn it at all.
When you have ADHD and are used to falling short, it's easy to think of any win as a result of pure luck.
How else could you have possibly functioned well enough to accomplish a difficult goal?
You Constantly Doubt Your Abilities (Despite High-Achieving)
You’ve done the same type of project before successfully, many times.
But it doesn’t matter – this time you’ll fail at it.
This time, ADHD will get the better of you.
It was only a matter of time, after all.
Having ADHD can cause you to doubt your abilities, even though you’ve proven time and time again that you’re highly capable.
ADHDers with impostor syndrome experience high anxiety and dread when approaching a new task, and those feelings only temporarily subside once you’ve completed it.
You might feel relief for a few moments (I got away with it one more time!), but each time you’re presented with a new challenge, the feelings return.
You Fear Being Exposed as a Fraud
Having ADHD can make you feel like you’re wearing a costume everyday.
You dress nicely, you speak like a professional, and you appear to know what you’re doing.
But inside, you’re a mess.
Your thoughts are coming a mile a minute, you forgot to put on deodorant again this morning, the kids were late to school, and it’s a miracle you even arrived at work on time.
Dealing with daily ADHD symptoms can create deep-seated feelings of inadequacy.
And when you believe you haven’t legitimately earned your achievements, well – then that makes you a fraud.
Basically there's a giant, frayed thread hanging from the fancy sweater you’ve woven for yourself, and sooner or later, someone’s going to yank that sucker – and everything will unravel.
You Constantly Compare Yourself (Negatively) to Others
Sure, you got the job you wanted, but your friend is making six-figures and starting a new side-hustle.
Yeah, you got your master’s degree but your colleague has a PhD (and is enrolled in law school).
The worst part of all this is you’ve had to work twice as hard as your neurotypical peers to achieve the same outcome (heck, even half the outcome) – because you have ADHD.
When you’ve spent your whole life struggling with basic tasks that your friends breeze through, it’s easy to compare yourself to others and focus on all the ways you fall short.
Imposter syndrome will rear its ugly head when you achieve a new goal, by saying:
Big deal – so-and-so did this easily and you barely made it by the skin of your teeth. This is nothing to celebrate. Next time we might not be so lucky!
You’re Part of a Historically Marginalized Group
This isn’t technically a sign, but if you belong to a historically marginalized group, such as BIPOC or LGBTQ+, you’re especially vulnerable to the effects of impostor syndrome.
Being the only BIPOC in an office or community and facing racism and microaggressions can lower your morale and increase negative thought patterns.
When English is your second language, you might have anxiety that people will think of you as less professional or educated (especially when they’ve treated you this way before).
You might even entertain the idea that you’re only in a position of leadership because your company wanted to increase diversity (even though you’re totally qualified and worked hard).
It’s also difficult when the people within your culture don’t support your choices. Being the first generation to go to college or attain a specialized degree, especially as a woman, can be discouraged because you’re upsetting the familiar power dynamic.
Imposter syndrome isn’t all in your head, especially when you add extra challenges like a disability or a marginalized identity. Those outside disrespectful, negative, and hurtful voices can easily amplify inside your mind.
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
If you relate to some or all of these signs, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced impostor phenomenon. But what can you do to keep it from holding you back?
Here are a few tips for overcoming imposter syndrome.
Keep a Journal of Your Accomplishments (& The Effort it Took to Get There)
Part of minimizing your successes is forgetting them easily (while we tend to dwell on and remember mistakes).
Keep a journal handy and write about the good things you’ve accomplished as they happen – you might call it your “to-done list”.
Print out emails or texts where people you admire gave you positive feedback and put them into the journal.
Spending more time savoring and internalizing positive experiences will help them stick in your long-term memory. This is what Dr. Rick Hanson calls “positive neuroplasticity”.
When you feel impostor syndrome creeping in again, you can open up your journal and remind your anxious brain of your accomplishments, and the real effort it took to win them.
Let Go of Perfectionism
Speaking of dwelling on mistakes – a lot of ADHDers operate under the core belief: I must not make mistakes.
This is probably due to frequent mistakes and negative feedback in the past, due to your ADHD symptoms getting in the way.
But the truth is, everyone makes mistakes – yes, even your neurotypical peers.
Consciously allowing yourself to make minor and safe mistakes, learning from them, and then letting them go will help keep you focused on the positive impact you’re making in life. Yes, practicing being imperfect in small, inconsequential ways is good medicine for your soul.
We discussed perfectionism on the Motherhood in ADHD podcast in Episode 43 – check it out below!
Find a Support Team
When your brain is telling you (falsely), “I can’t do this” or “I’m doomed to failure”, it helps to enlist another brain to keep your anxious one in check.
Find a friend or co-worker who you love and trust, and provide each other with encouragement when imposter syndrome strikes.
Maybe it’s a friend who also struggles with ADHD or anxiety, so they know what it’s like.
Let them know how they can best support you when you feel self-doubt creeping in, whether it’s simple empathy, reminding you of your strengths, or both.
Work With a Therapist or ADHD Coach
If your impostor syndrome is telling you, “Well, she’s my friend – of course she’s going to hype me up” – then you might need a neutral third party to weigh in.
A therapist or ADHD coach can help support you emotionally and help you challenge the core beliefs at the root of your impostor syndrome.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offered by a licensed therapist is especially good for dismantling irrational, anxious thoughts.
Working with an ADHD coach can help you feel seen, heard and supported, and they can help you develop tools and strategies to make life work for your ADHD brain.
Coaches can also connect you with online and in-person communities where people with ADHD share common struggles and offer encouragement.
Get Treatment for Your ADHD ( + Download Free ADHD Resources)
If you haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD yet, but you’re struggling with impostor syndrome and other symptoms, it may be time to reach out to your doctor.
This free resource, ADHD in Women: A Checklist of Symptoms will give you more information about what ADHD looks like. You can personalize it by adding your own unique symptoms, print it out and take it with you to your first doctor’s appointment.
Even if you decide to seek medical treatment or medication for your ADHD, you’ll still need some helpful tools to help you manage your life. Another (completely free) resource may help: How to Manage ADHD Beyond Medication
Living with ADHD and impostor syndrome isn’t easy, but you’re not alone. Using these tips and enlisting the help of a licensed clinician, therapist or coach will minimize impostor feelings and help you learn to give yourself the credit you deserve.