ADHD Paralysis: 7 Steps to Get Unstuck Quickly
Tick, tick, tick.
You know the time is passing.
But you can’t seem to get yourself unglued from the couch.
Your brain feels fuzzy and out of sorts, and your eyes are glazed over, staring blankly at the wall.
You care about the task – you really do – and you care about the person or people you’re supposed to do it for.
But you just. can’t. get. started.
If this sounds a bit too familiar, you might have experienced ADHD paralysis – a term coined by ADHDers to describe the feeling of being so overwhelmed by a task (or tasks) that your brain shuts down and refuses to let you do anything.
You end up frozen with anxiety, desperately searching for a distraction from the awful feelings of shame and inadequacy that accompany it.
Your distractions lead to wasted time, unfinished projects, and sometimes broken relationships.
If you suffer from ADHD paralysis, you’re not alone – and the good news is, you can learn how to manage it.
In this post, we’ll talk about why ADHD paralysis happens, and offer a few solutions to get you unstuck and moving again.
What is ADHD Paralysis?
ADHD paralysis refers to the feeling of being so overwhelmed by a task or decision, that you “freeze” with anxiety, becoming incapable of taking any action at all.
Also known as “task paralysis” or “analysis paralysis”, ADHD paralysis is not a clinical term or medical condition, but it’s likely related to the nervous system’s fight, flight, freeze response (the freeze part).
When you have ADHD, you struggle to do tasks that neurotypical people find easy – like planning your grocery list or deciding which color to paint your living room.
You also find it hard to get motivated to do the most simple tasks – like take a shower, brush your teeth, or apply deodorant.
It’s no wonder then, that ADHDers experience the freeze response when tasked with something more complex, like a project at work, or a decision that requires a good amount of research.
The freeze response is wired into our nervous system to keep us safe from predators – so technically it’s a good thing.
But in modern times, what used to be a saber-toothed tiger now looks more like an excel spreadsheet or a pile of dirty dishes in the sink – so things are a bit more complicated.
What Does ADHD Paralysis Look Like?
To give you a better picture of how ADHD paralysis manifests in the real world, here are a few signs to look out for:
Knowing a task is important but you just can’t get started, and you’re not sure why
Feeling frozen or shutting down when there are too many choices (also known as analysis paralysis)
Feeling stuck and avoiding a task because it feels overwhelming and you don’t know where to start
Anxiety, depression or shame because you feel incompetent and defective
Distracting yourself through social media, video games or other activities when you know you need to be working on a task
Ignoring a task until you get negative feedback from the person who asked you to do it (you didn’t actually forget, but you pretend like you did, even to yourself).
ADHD Paralysis Vs Depression
Depression can also cause people to lose motivation and struggle to complete tasks.
Many ADHDers also have depression as a comorbidity, so if you feel down all the time or have thoughts of harming yourself, seek out a therapist or other licensed physician ASAP.
You can reach the SAMHSA 24-hr national helpline here.
ADHD Paralysis Vs Procrastination
ADHD paralysis and procrastination have some similarities – procrastination often happens when you feel overwhelmed or anxious about a task. And people with ADHD definitely procrastinate (everyone does).
But the difference is that people with ADHD have executive dysfunction, which means our frontal lobe – the part of the brain that controls working memory and task organization – doesn’t function as well as a neurotypical brain.
Overcoming ADHD Paralysis: How to Get Unstuck in 7 Simple Steps
Alright, now that you understand what ADHD paralysis is and why it happens to ADHDers, let’s get into how you can overcome this phenomenon and get moving again.
First Things First: Treat Your ADHD If Needed
If ADHD is causing you ADHD paralysis, and it’s frequently interfering with your quality of life, consider seeking treatment for your ADHD (If you’re currently untreated).
Treatment options include therapy, stimulant and non-stimulant medication, and behavioral interventions. You can choose any of these options, or all of them.
ADHD paralysis is just one symptom – and there are significant risks for adults who choose to live with untreated ADHD. So if you’re struggling, there’s no shame at all in seeking help.
But even if you’re treated, you may still encounter ADHD paralysis, and you’ll need habit-based tools to help – so keep reading!
Step 1: Notice What’s Happening – To Increase Awareness of ADHD Paralysis
The first step to resolving any type of personal issue is to become aware of the problem, especially in real-time.
Depending on how in-tune you are with your emotions, you may or may not notice ADHD paralysis when it happens. It may just feel like you’re blanking out or don’t feel well.
So it’s important to pay attention to your unique ADHD paralysis symptoms. When presented with a task you’re dreading, do you get a stomach ache? Does your chest feel tight? Are your thoughts racing?
What instinctive actions do you take when faced with these feelings? Do you snatch your phone and start scrolling social media? Turn on Netflix? Raid the kitchen for snacks? Hide under the covers?
Take a week and make it your only goal to notice when ADHD paralysis hits, and write down any symptoms and behaviors that come with it. This will help you identify it in the future so you can consciously change your behavior.
Step 2: Pause – To Self-Regulate Your Nervous System
The next step is to actively address your frozen nervous system.
Your freeze response has been activated, so you’ll want to take action to send the message to your brain that you are not in immediate danger.
The action you take will be whatever works for you to destress. Start by making a small list of 3 actions that usually calm you down and clear your mind. Here are a few ideas:
Walking your dog or other exercise (rigorous exercise does help the brain refocus, if you can manage it!)
Taking a nap
Meditation or grounding exercises
Calling a friend
Adult coloring
Turning on music and dancing
Literally, anything that calms you down!
Step 3: Create a Master To-Do List – To Empty Your Overwhelmed Brain
Now that your freeze response is deactivated, it’s time to start addressing the task at hand.
Don’t panic! You don’t have to actually do it yet.
Right now, your brain feels overwhelmed – it’s being tasked with holding too much information.
You can unload some of this info by dumping it all into a “master” document that you know you will check on a daily or weekly basis.
Create a section for short-term (to-do this week), medium-term (to-do this month), and long-term (to-do whenever you get time).
This spreadsheet does not have to be complicated. Think of it as an external container for all the tasks that are currently swimming around in your head.
When you finish, schedule a time each day to check the list, add or remove items from it and use it to plan your day.
Step 4: Prioritize – To Uncover What’s Important
When faced with a number of tasks, a lot of ADHDers will freeze because they don’t know where to start, or have trouble prioritizing what’s most important.
Prioritizing tasks will help ensure you’re working on what matters most to you. Sit down and look at the tasks you’ve dumped onto your spreadsheet to do today, or this week or month (whichever is most fitting to the situation).
Decide which ones are most important, and rank them accordingly. Is spending time with your family more important than cleaning out the garage? If so – put that task higher on your list.
If you’re working on just one project, you can create a spreadsheet with tasks just for that one project and prioritize from there.
You’ll then pull your daily to-do list (one you might keep on a sheet of paper and cross off as you go) from the short-term section of your master spreadsheet each day.
If you struggle to determine which tasks should be placed at the top of your list, the Eisenhower Box is a helpful tool.
Step 5: Tackle a Tiny Amount First – To Feel Less Anxious
You might experience ADHD paralysis when a task feels too big or complex. But here’s the thing: there’s no rule that you have to tackle it all at once!
If a task feels daunting, set a timer for 10 minutes (or even 5, or 1!), and commit to working on the task for only that amount of time.
Once you get going, you may find that most of your anxiety was around just getting started on the task. Once you’re over that hump, you might decide to work longer than 10 minutes.
But if you can’t handle more than 10 – no worries – shut the timer off and reset it when you’re ready to begin again.
Step 6: Use a Calendar – To Bring The Future Into the Now
Remember all those tasks swimming around in your head? Many of them are future tasks – those things you have to remember – people’s birthdays, anniversaries, work events, deadlines.
Knowing these events are on the horizon and worrying you might forget them creates an undercurrent of anxiety.
Want to learn a simple way to eliminate anxiety by planning a month ahead? Check out this free download, Month Ahead Prep.
A calendar (digital and/or paper) is another external container for those longer-term tasks floating around in your brain. When you get them on paper (or in your digital calendar), your brain can rest easy.
Step 7: Make It Fun – To Increase Dopamine
A major reason you avoid certain tasks is because, well – they’re not fun.
ADHD is associated with having lower levels of dopamine – the neurotransmitter that allows you to feel pleasure, satisfaction and motivation.
Scientists theorize that ADHDers struggle with motivation because they don’t have enough dopamine to stay motivated.
When you’re having fun, dopamine increases in the brain – motivating you to keep doing what you’re doing.
So how do you make a boring task fun?
Here are a few ideas:
Listen to your favorite music while you work
Reserve a special snack or “fancy” coffee only for when you’re working on the dreaded task
Set out your favorite fidget toys to fiddle with when you get stuck
Work outside if it’s nice out (sun helps energize and lift your mood)
Ask a friend to collaborate
Make it a game – set a timer and “race the clock” to see if you can get done before it goes off
The dopamine you’ll get from making the task fun will have the pleasant side effect of increasing your focus and motivation.
Get Coaching From an ADHD Coach to Stay Motivated Long-Term
If you follow these steps, you’ll be in great shape. But we all have “dips” in motivation and struggle to stay on track. Working with an ADHD coach can help you integrate and embed these habits into your life, learn adhd-centered strategies, and your coach can support you when you’re feeling down.
Whether you’re receiving treatment or not for your ADHD, everyone needs a few extra tools in their toolbelt to make managing life easier.
Here’s a helpful ADHD-centered resource: How to Manage Your ADHD Beyond Medication – a quick-to-read PDF with real-world strategies created with the ADHD brain in mind.
If you’ve struggled with feelings of never being good enough, if you feel helpless and overwhelmed trying to manage your time, home and family, this resource is for you. So take a deep breath, download it for free, and start learning skills that fit your ADHD, so you can feel less stressed and get moving forward again. You deserve to feel good, mama!